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I already knew Mr. X well enough to know that he wasn't committed to having children of his own - the one thing I can't give him - and he considers both my love of poetry, and my sexual prowess, expertise, perpetual willingness, innate curiosity, and a willingness to be more than I already am as more than making up for any lack of creativity otherwise.Another factor massing in my decision is, despite our closeness, he didn't ask me to come with him yet. Perhaps he didn't feel fully ready for that level of commitment yet - knowing how strongly I'd commit to him in return.So without his direct invitation, and the new reality that Paul brought into all our lives, we both remained sane about this. No matter how nice a week or two together can be, that's not enough for either of us to make a lifelong decision based on it alone. But that doesn't mean we broke up badly.On the day he left to go back out into the world again Mr. X gave me a framed, hand-lettered version of Perfect Woman he'd. I was thinking of all the sexting we had done and knew these were his favorites. I thought about how i wanted the meeting to play out. I wanted him to greet me with a warm kiss, i want him to explore my mouth with his tongue, i want him to gently explore my body with his mouth, i want to feel his tongue swirl around my erect nipples. I wanted him to kiss my neck and take in my smell. i want him to begin undressing me as soon as the door closed, i wanted him to be gentle and strong, but i wanted to fight back.... I want to be in control... I want to make him taste me... I want to force him to his knees.... I want to smother him with my clit. I want him to make me cum before i even touch him. I want him to beg for my touch, i want to hear him say my name. I want to be the the one that undresses him. But i want to do it slowly.... I want to take my time, i want to explore every inch of him with my tongue.... And i need to make him squirm with anticipation of what i will do.
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